Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
