Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
