Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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