Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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