I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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