drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I stole a fireplace last night.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
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