Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
