This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
