Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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