Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Buhtt sex?
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
