so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
We are two peas in an std pod
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You ate ashes out of my bong
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
