Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
