Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
