And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
this will be a night to untag.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
