I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
