I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
