I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
He is an equal opportunity slut.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
The air was thick with penises
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
