Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
