i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
