I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
