So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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