The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
