Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Come on in and take your pants off
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