Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
