halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize
