ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
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