After last night, I could never be a politician.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
