oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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