plz talk dirty to me
Your dad touched me again.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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