If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
it hurts more in the daytime
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
