After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
