y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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