i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
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