You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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