We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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