i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
