FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
