I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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