tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
