She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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