what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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