is your mom at the bar?
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
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