i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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