ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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