alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
