wakey wakey hands off snakey
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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