We won't sleep together?
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
