I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
