and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
