What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
