I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
