I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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